All Or Nothing Thinking Is Ruining Your Progress
You know that “I am starting over Monday” energy?
It usually starts with good intentions. You decide you are going to be “on it” this week. You plan healthy meals, save a workout on Instagram, maybe even book a class. Monday goes well. Tuesday is decent. Wednesday explodes because work runs late and someone suggests takeout.
Suddenly the story in your head shifts.
“I already blew it.”
“I will start again next week.”
“Once things calm down, I will really commit.”
That is an all or nothing problem.
All or nothing thinking quietly derails more progress than any slice of pizza ever has. The good news is that once you can see it, you can replace it with something better.
You can swap all or nothing for all or something.
What All Or Nothing Sounds Like In Real Life
All or nothing thinking is the mental rule that says, “If it is not perfect, it is pointless.”
It shows up in small, everyday ways:
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Workouts:
“If I cannot do a full hour, it is not worth going to the gym.”
“I missed two weeks, so I have to start completely over.” -
Food:
“I already had dessert at lunch, the day is ruined.”
“If I eat one ‘off plan’ meal, I might as well go all in and restart Monday.” -
Sleep and routines:
“I stayed up late last night, the whole week is shot.”
“I missed my morning routine, today is basically done.”
Notice something. The moment life stops being perfect, your brain does not ask, “What is still possible?” It mostly says, “Never mind” and bails on the whole day.
This is where people get stuck for months or years, not because they never try, but because they keep throwing away the perfectly good middle.
Why Your Brain Loves Extremes
Your brain loves simple rules. All or nothing is very simple.
Perfect or failure. On track or off the rails. Good or bad.
Extremes feel clear. Moderate choices take more effort. You have to actually pause and think, “OK, this day is not going as planned. What is one thing I can still do that helps me feel better?”
That pause is uncomfortable at first. The all or nothing story is much quicker:
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“You did not follow the plan today.”
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“If you cannot do it right, you should not do it at all.”
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“You clearly do not have discipline.”
And now you are not just dealing with a busy day. You are dealing with shame, guilt, and the urge to escape. Which usually leads to more of the choices you were trying to change in the first place.
We see a similar pattern in research on “rigid” versus “flexible” dieting. Rigid control, the strict all or nothing style, is linked to more preoccupation with food and poorer long term weight loss, while flexible restraint is associated with better weight loss maintenance (Westenhoefer).PubMed
All Or Something, The Better Rule
All or something says, “If I cannot do everything, I will still do something that moves me a little closer.”
It is a simple shift in language, but it changes your options.
Here is how that looks in real life.
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Old rule:
“I cannot make it to class for the full hour, so I will not go.”
All or something:
“I will go for 30 minutes, do the warmup and first block, and leave feeling better than sitting at home.” -
Old rule:
“I already had fast food for lunch, so the day is ruined.”
All or something:
“Lunch was not ideal. Dinner can still be a satisfying meal with some protein and plants.” -
Old rule:
“I missed my workout on Monday, my week is ruined.”
All or something:
“I missed Monday. I am still going to walk after dinner tonight and hit one strength session this week.”
All or something does not let you off the hook. You are not pretending the day was perfect. You are choosing a small action that respects your actual life instead of the fantasy schedule in your head.
Tiny “Something” Wins That Still Move The Needle
People often underestimate what a “small win” does for their body and their brain.
Here are examples of “something” that genuinely makes a difference, especially in busy seasons:
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Ten to fifteen minute walk between tasks
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One plate at a party, eaten slowly, instead of mindless grazing
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Drinking water before reaching for a third coffee
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Swapping one snack for a higher protein option
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Stretching for five minutes before bed
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Two sets of a couple movements instead of skipping the whole workout
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Going to your group class and choosing lighter weights when you are tired
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Ordering an entrée you like, then sharing dessert instead of having two full ones
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Turning screens off fifteen minutes earlier
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Saying no to one extra obligation so you can keep a movement or meal plan that matters to you
Short, “snack sized” bouts of movement like ten minutes of walking or climbing stairs are not just a consolation prize. Reviews on physical activity “snacks,” those brief bouts under ten minutes, show they can still improve cardiometabolic health markers and are highly doable for busy adults (Brown).PubMed
None of these are flashy. None will show up on a “life hack” reel. Together they keep you from falling into the “Welp, I blew it again” spiral.
Progress in real bodies is built from weeks of “something,” not rare moments of “perfect.”
How To Practice All Or Something This Week
Make this week an experiment.
Pick one area that tends to trigger all or nothing thinking for you. Workouts, eating out, snacks at work, late nights, you know your patterns.
Then:
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Name your old rule.
For example, “If I snack at night, I ruined the day.” -
Write a new “all or something” rule.
“If I snack at night, I will still drink water and aim for a consistent bedtime, and I will choose a more satisfying snack tomorrow.” -
Decide in advance what your “something” will be.
Maybe it is showing up to one class no matter what, taking a ten minute walk after lunch, or adding one serving of protein per day. -
At the end of the week, review, do not judge.
Look at what helped, what felt realistic, and where your brain screamed “never mind.” That is information, not a verdict.
Your goal is not to get an A plus in habit perfection. Your goal is to get many, many B minus weeks. That is what changes how your body feels.
Research on self compassion and dieting lapses backs this up. When people respond to a dietary slip with more self compassion instead of shame, they tend to feel less discouraged and report more perceived control over their weight management behaviors, which makes them less likely to abandon their goals altogether (Hagerman).PubMed
Where Our Classes Fit In
All or something is a lot easier to practice when you are not doing it alone, which is why our Signature Group Classes are built around simply showing up and doing what you can that day. You do not have to arrive in “beast mode,” you just have to arrive, and we will handle the plan, structure, and coaching so your “something” is still smart, safe, and effective. If you are tired of starting over every Monday, let this week be the first week you stop, come in, do something, and leave feeling better than when you walked in. Learn more and book a class here.
Works Cited
Brown, Nashira I. “Health Related Benefits and Adherence for Multiple Short Bouts of Aerobic Physical Activity Among Adults.” American Journal of Lifestyle Medicine, vol. 19, no. 1, 2024, pp. 58–72.PubMed
Hagerman, Charlotte J. “The Role of Self Compassion and Its Individual Components in Adaptive Responses to Dietary Lapses.” Appetite, vol. 190, 2023, article 107009.PubMed
Westenhoefer, Joachim. “Cognitive and Weight Related Correlates of Flexible and Rigid Restrained Eating Behaviour.” Eating Behaviors, vol. 14, no. 1, 2013, pp. 69–72.PubMed